Top 15 ways to procrastinate

I have 2 debates tomorrow that I have to prepare for and an assignment due on Friday about insects……. so naturally, here I am Here is what I think are the best ways to procrastinate and how I have been spending the past few days to avoid all Uni related topics

1) Eating your feelings

Thinking about your assignment? Here, have some chocolate! Wondering if you should start it yet? No, don’t be silly, here, have some chocolate! Worried that its due tomorrow? Here, have some chocolate! Feel ready to start that essay now? Pfft, don’t do that, here, have some chocolate!

Food provides instant gratification, study does not. Therefore Food>Study

2) Sleeping

Do you want be a model student and stay at that computer slaving away for hours on that assignment due next week, or do you want to curl up under those nice warm snuggly covers, shut your poor weary eyes and catch a few z’s in dreamland? Seriously, is this even a question?!

3) Reading Facebook arguments

Casually logging onto your Facebook (which in itself is a procrastination tool ;P), quickly flick through your news feed, same ol’ same ol’ ‘This happened to me today’, ‘Look at this picture of my kid’, ‘Ohemgeeee’, and……. wait! What was that?! *Gasp* 100+ comments, loads of swearing and insults, and *double gasp* they have started used CAPSLOCK?! Let me get the popcorn!

4) Reading an awesome book

You know that book that you have been wanting to read forever but have been reading your textbook instead? Yeah, now is the best time to read it, because nothing makes a book more interesting than directly comparing it to the stuff you have to read for assignments! :D Plus they allow you to escape to all sorts of wonderful and interesting worlds! Mine right now is Seven Ancient Wonders by Matthew Reilly, Ancient Egyptian prophecies and jam packed action are a lot more cool than flower pollination strategies :D

5) Playing games

Want to play Bioshock Infinite with floating cities in the sky, vigors that let you throw fire and have a literal ‘murder of crows’ and has rifts in the time-space continuum?

YES.

How about Skyrim where you are the motherfricken Dovahkiin with the ability of the Thuum which allows you to throw people off cliffs, tame dragons and create massive storms out of nothing, all with your voice?

DOUBLE YES.

Maybe even Dragon Age where you are one of the two last Grey Wardens, fighting to unite all of Ferelden against the impending Darkspawn blight and the dreaded Archdemon which threaten to destroy the world?

TRIPLE YES.

Want to do your homework now?

NEVER

6) Re-arranging your sock drawer

Which suddenly becomes a whole lot more fun when you should be doing homework instead

7) Playing fetch with the cat

Yes, you heard me, cat, not dog. Oh, didn’t you know that cats play fetch too?! Well ……. at least mine does He is entertained for at least a good half hour with me throwing him a stick which he will bring back to me, super cute…… and a little strange

Fetch Jasper!

8) Playing dress ups

Crazy wigs, extravagant makeup, funky costumes, doing this is fun anytime of day, procrastinating or not! I opted for a crazy 80′s rocker wannabe, and sadly, that wig isn’t far off how my natural hair can look sometimes

9) Annoying your better half

Poke them, wrestle them, meow in their ear constantly, hide their stuff, give them a wet willy, pin them down and tickle them, bite them - you’ll soon forget about any study that you are ment to do! Mainly due to an onslaught of retaliation from them, and hence the war begins :P My boyfriend is definitely the better half with the things he has to put up with, even when he gets me back 100 times better :P <3

Procrastination can be dangerous

10) Listening to Disney songs

Whenever I remember I once conveniently compiled all my favourite Disney songs into one blog post (which you can find here), study instantly ceases, as I have no choice but to listen to each and every single one about half a dozen times each Disney songs from your childhood never get old, and should be a must on anyones procrastination to do list

11) Looking up all the gloriously nerdy props that you need want

Like this:

One ring to rule them all….

And this:

Cardcaptors

And especially this:

Gonna catch me an Eevee

A good few solid hours can always be wasted looking up these wonderful items that have absolutely no practical use whatsoever, BUT ARE SO FREAKING AMAZING I kinda feel like this cat when looking at these types of things:

12) Graciously accepting a sports video game challenge against your boyfriend

At any other time of the day, most girls would decline the challenge knowing that their boyfriend is going to run all over them, but this is procrastination you are talking about so accept the offer damn it! Who knows, you might even win, I know I have……… once

Wait…. you mean I won? I spose I should be gracious and all…. I AM THE CHAMPION, BOW DOWN TO ME MORTALS!

13) Go onto Google Earth, and out of all the wonderful places you could look at, search for your own house

I can’t really put it any more detail than that…….. so here is a picture of a cat acting like a sir

14) Make random animal noises

For those in desperate need of self entertainment and that have exhaused their supply of procrastination tasks

15) Write a blog about procrastinating and then procrastinate writing it

Like I have been doing for the past few hours Procrastinating over writing about procrastinating, I think I should join this club:

Until next rambling,

The customer is always right.

And if by ‘customer’ you mean ‘spawn of Satan’, and by ‘right’ you mean ‘incurably stupid’, then yes, the ‘customer’ is ALWAYS ‘right’

Ah people, the worst part of everyone’s day! No matter what department you work in or career you have chosen, I think we all dread the moment we have to open up shop and let the mindless hordes into our workplace.

In terms of customers, my first job at a wildlife park was great. Being a keeper, you don’t have to give a flying dog crap about the customers, you are there for the animals! Sure, you get some pretty idiotic questions, but at the end of the day, as long as the animals are taken care of, your job is done. My new job however, may be at a pet store with cute fluffy baby animals, but is (shudder) a customer service job. I have been at said job now for 6 months now…… and lets just say I wish my workplace had this policy:

After having what may possibly be the most stupid conversation with a customer in my life the other day, I thought I would share some of my most stupid customer questions/stories that have personally happened to me or have been told to me by my lovely boyfriend Steven who knows the ins and outs of idiocy that is displayed at a grocery store. I mean, what good are these stupid experiences if they can’t at least be used for a laugh right?

Customers in a wildlife park

Customer 1 - when conducting a show where customers may hold a baby crocodile:

Why is there tape on the crocodiles mouth? – said the lady who had just watched me catch the croc while it was trying to bite my fingers

Customer 2 - upon seeing the baby crocodile:

Oh, can I hold the big one instead? /points to the three metre croc that could, oh I don’t know, MAYBE RIP HIS F*CKING LEG OFF?!

Customer 3:

Do you ever like put the crocodiles in harnesses and take them for walks?

Customer 4:

Can I ride the donkey? – Said the fully grown adult twice the size of the donkey

Customer 5:

Can I ride a kangaroo? – Said the American woman who clearly took our ‘We ride kangaroos to school’ joke a little too seriously

Customer 6:

Excuse me, do you work here? – Asked the woman while I was in the buffalo enclosure up to my elbows in animal shit

No lady, I don’t work here, I’m just doing this for shits and giggles.

Customers in a Grocery store

Customer 7 –  taking her purchases through the checkout at about 7pm:

Worker: Have a good day!

Customer: /walks off and then goes up to the service desk

I’d like to make a complaint!

Manager: And what was that?

Customer: That girl over there told me to ’Have a good day’, when it’s actually night-time.

Customer 8 –  looking for an item:

Customer: Excuse me, do you have Susan Day Fairy Cakes?

Steven: No, we haven’t been able to get them in for a while now sorry.

Customer: That’s bullshit! The people who do the orders need a f*cking bomb shoved up their ass!

Customers in a Pet Store

Customer 9 - interested in buying a dog:

Um, so, like what do dogs eat? – Said the guy who I really hope was trolling

Customer 10 – wanting to buy a rat:

Co-worker: Okay dokey, so do you have food for him?

Customer: No, I’ll buy that next week.

Co-worker: Oh….. but you want the rat now?

Customer: Yes.

Co-worker: So what do you plan on feeding him with for the next week?

Customer: He’ll be ok without it for a week won’t he?

Customer’s 11 and 12 - There was a sign at the front of the store on a puppy pen saying ‘Guinea Pigs: now only $10!’ In said puppy pen was a Border Collie puppy:

Customer 11: Oh my gosh, look at that giant guinea pig!

Customer 12: Excuse me, can we please buy the $10 dog?

Customer 13 - interested in buying a puppy: 

Can I put that dog on layby for a month? – Asked the man who didn’t seem to understand that puppies grow

Customer 14 - paying for her purchases:

Co-worker: That’ll be $135 thankyou.

Customer: /takes money out of her wallet, hands it over to co-worker

Co-worker: You need twelve more dollars.

Customer: What does that mean?

Co-worker: You need $12 more.

Customer: I don’t understand, I didn’t go to school to learn this shit! – Exclaimed the woman who is not known for her brainage

Customer 15 - asking for dog medical advice:

Customer: Hi, my dog is throwing up and dehydrated, do have anything I can give it?

Me: Um, I think you should be taking your dog to the vet immediately.

Customer: Oh, why?!

Customer 16:

Customer: How much are your puppies?

Me: Which one? (we have 9 different puppy pens)

Customer: That one. (gestures to the right that has 4 puppy pens)

Me: Which one over there?

Customer: That one! (waves his hand again in the general direction to the right)

Me: Top or bottom?

Customer: Bottom I think.

Me: Left or right?

Customer: Left, I mean right…. your right?

Me: Do you know its name?

Customer: Yeah, the staffy pups, on the top right!

Because saying ‘the Staffy pups’ to begin with was super hard hey?

Customer 17 – asking prices about dogs and the man who inspired this post  -

Customer: Excuse me, how much is this dog?

Me: Three hundred and ninety five dollars.

Customer: Ok, how much is this one compared to that one?

Me: Both are three hundred and ninety five dollars.

Customer: So you mean I could get both dogs for only $395?!

Me: /sigh No, they are three ninety five EACH.

Customer: Wait, so each dog is only $3.95 each?!

Me: …………….. No, they are THREE HUNDRED AND NINETY FIVE DOLLARS EACH.

Customer: But you said they were three ninety five each?

Me: Yes, meaning EACH dog ON ITS OWN is $395.

Customer: Wait, so its $395 for one dog, not both?

Me: YES.

Customer: And they are $395, not $3.95?

Me: YES.

Customer: So I can’t get two dogs for $395?

Me: NO.

Customer: Oooooooooooh! Wait I’m still confused!

 Humans: we’re certainly bred for our intelligence right?

Until next time my lovely readers,

15 Jasper memes!

Let’s face it, if I were to go through your browser history while ignoring some of the more ….. er …… colourful web searches at some point I would come across ‘cat memes’, ‘funny cats’ or something similar of the sort (yes, even you too guys!). I myself tend to spend far too much time looking for these ridiculous pictures when my boredom is coupled with internet access AND I REGRET NOTHING! but am always rewarded with a giggle at these crazy little critters antics. After viewing a few hundred of these pictures and memes, I was going through my photos and came to the realisation that over the course of his short life, my cat Jasper has been very photogenic………..so after having way too much time on my hands these uni holidays, having the opinion that cats are hilarious in any situation as well as having an over active imagination, I give you……. *insert drumroll here* my very own Jasper memes! No doubt my cat would disown me if he knew how badly I was degrading his noble stature on the internet, but what he doesn’t know can’t hurt him right?

And lucky number 15, a reaction typical of my boyfriend and I when talking to Jasper

I need to get out more

Until next week lovelies

Writer’s block and brain farts

Over the past few days I have wasted hours staring at a blank computer screen. I have started this sentence a few dozen times and then ended up deleting it only to be stuck on a blank screen again. I have come up with many an idea of blog posts I’d love to write, rants that must be had and books and games that I would love to rave about, but I can’t seem to put any of them into something that doesn’t sound like I just mashed my face into the keyboard. I have cracked tantrums, been adamant I will delete my whole blog because of how frustrated I am and then decided against it at last minute. No matter how much I have tried nor how many hours I have spent trying to write my brain completely refuses to function and let me have my creative outlet. I have been struck with a very severe case of writers block, so much so that I have spent the past 24 hours having writer’s block about how to write about writer’s block! I have so much to say and yet no way to say it!

Already it has been half an hour and another tantrum since I have typed the paragraph above! I don’t know if it’s because I’m trying to hard. I don’t know if it’s because I am beginning to over think my posts and am worrying too about the content. I don’t know if it’s because I am comparing myself to other blogger’s and feel as if I am coming up short. All I know is this brain fart is beginning to drive me up the wall!

I have read and tried so many tips on how to get past it: Talk to someone about it (I’ve practically gnawed my poor boyfriend’s ear off), if you can’t write anything try again later (x1000000000), write crap (currently in progress :P ), but alas, nothing is working and I am still stuck as ever. And I possibly just created the most pointless blog post ever….. well at least I can cross out the possibility that my lack of writing is due to me worrying about the content :P Maybe eating my frustrations and stress will help?

After all, stressed is desserts spelt backwards!

Oh, and meet Squirt (yes, as in Squirt off of Finding Nemo :P ), our newest addition to our little family :) Until next time lovelies, when my brain decides to become functional again!

‘You so totally rock Squirt!’

15 Useless Animal Facts Pt. 2 :D

Everyone loves weird/gross/interesting animal facts on a Saturday evening, so here is Part 2 of my list of completely useless animal facts!

1) Frogs are unable to vomit. Being a reflex to get rid of possibly harmful toxins we have ingested, obviously lacking this mechanism means that if frogs eat something harmful they’ll kick the bucket right? Wrong! Rather than vomiting and bringing all its food back up in that revolting manner, the frog instead throws up its ENTIRE STOMACH, empties the contents of it, and then swallows its stomach back down! Neat huh?

2) Despite the huge difference in length, giraffes and humans have the same number of bones in their neck: seven.

3) Dolphins can’t sleep. For humans, breathing is an unconcious mechanism as we live in the medium that we also happen to breathe, oxygen. For dolphins, living underwater but also needing O2 means that a dolphin is a conscious breather as it has to monitor its O2 intake and regularly come up for air. If a dolphin was to fully drift off into a peaceful slumber like we do it would drown! To solve this problem, a dolphin will take small naps with only one half of its brain at a time while the other half is still awake!

4) Baby Koala’s are not born with the ability to digest eucalyptus leaves. Obviously with eucalyptus being the only thing on the menu for a koala, this presents a bit of a problem! To help the babies digestive system develop the enzymes to overcome the toxins in eucalyptus, the mother feeds her baby a substance called pap…… which is er, well, pre-digested leaves….. yes she feeds her baby her faeces. As a result of this, the baby is able to eat eucalyptus when it is older, but is only able to eat the same types of eucalyptus as its mother did, as its immune system was only able to adapt to the pre-digested leaves it was exposed to in the mum’s poop!

5) A female ferret needs mate after she has gone into heat or she will literally die (because of a hormone imbalance)! While this is legit for the ferret, I wouldn’t put it past some humans to try and see if this excuse works with their partners: ‘Honey, if we don’t have sex right this moment I’m going to die!’

6) Kangaroo’s can’t fart. The methane that their body produces is converted into an energy source that their body reuses! I wish I could say the same about my cat!

7) Ever wondered how once a bee has found a flower suddenly every other bee in the whole neighbourhood is suddenly at that flower too? When a bee finds something that will be of significance to the hive (new home/food source), it returns to its hive and it…… wait for it……. it dances! But this just isn’t any interpretive dance, this little bee’s ‘waggle dance’ is telling all the other bees EXACTLY where the food source is, from the direction and distance it is in relation to the hive right down to the angle it is at in relation to the sun!! And even when the bee is doing this dance for hours, he changes his dance (its direction and the amount of wiggles he does per cycle) in relation to the sun’s movements so he is still telling the other bees exactly where the item is even though it is a different time of day!

8) Ask anyone and they will tell you that a goldfish only has a memory span of three seconds. Common knowledge right? But is it correct? A 15 year old Australian school boy decided to test this theory by placing a beacon in the water when he was going to feed the goldfish, would wait 30 seconds and then sprinkle the food around the beacon. After 3 weeks, with a beginning time (at one week) of 1 minute to recognise the beacon and a finishing time (at three weeks) of less than 5 seconds after the beacon was placed into the water, the goldfish showed they now had established the food connection to the beacon. The boy then removed the beacon from the feeding process and fed the fish normally for the next week. When reintroduced 7 days later, the fish immediately recognised the beacon and reached it in 4.4 seconds, showing that they remembered it and could retain the information! Turns out goldfish aren’t as dumb as we think they are, and when you think about it are certainly smarter than some humans!

9) In 1740, a cow was found guilty of witchcraft and publicly executed! On another note all our ancestors were obviously also crack addicts

10) You think human’s are evolved? Try this on for size: there is a monkey species where the baby pulls itself out of the womb!! That’s right, none of that horrible pushing and straining that seems characteristic of childbirth, the mother just gives the first initial heave and the baby does the rest of the work! Now THAT is evolution!

11) A dog was the king of Norway for three years! After the King’s son was killed by his subjects, angry, the King gave the people of Norway a choice, to be ruled by his slave or his dog, and they chose the dog! You know a person is a pretty shitty option when a dog beats him in politics!

12) Sand Tiger Sharks are fighting for life from the moment they come into existence, literally! While the mother produces many eggs, she can only give birth to one pup, so once the embryo starts developing it has to begin killing off its brother and sisters while still in the womb in order to survive! Talk about a violent start to life!

13) Never underestimate how dangerous a Rattle Snake can be….. even when its dead!! The instinct to strike at close movement is so hard-wired into a Rattle Snakes muscle reflexes that even with a dead brain an hour after its death it is still capable of killing you!

14) The penalty for killing a cat in ancient Egypt was death!

15) And once again on a more personal note, an animal story that occurred a little closer to home! Karta is an orangutan at Adelaide Zoo, whose enclosure (which I spend way too much time at when I am at the zoo ) is surrounded by hotwires and high walls. To keepers, Karta never seemed to pay much attention to these things, so it was to their great surprise one day when she jumped ship and got out of her enclosure!! Orangutans are extremely intelligent and are perfectly capable of working through problems, which is just what Karta had been doing in the days leading to her escape. She had previously poked the hotwire with a stick, but on the day of her escape, the smart little cookie twisted the stick through all of the wires causing them to touch one another and short circuited the whole system! Once she had done this, Karta then started ripping up plants and placing them up against the wall to make herself a ladder to get out! And after all that effort, Karta hopped over the wall, saw freedom wasn’t all it was cracked up to be, and climbed back into her enclosure! After her little adventure the keepers decided they better have a better look into their animal security systems haha

Until next time lovelies

Musical Madness

Raging Rant No. 5: Shitty music

From the beginning of time when the first caveman overly strained his frontal cortex, hit two bones together and thought it was pretty neat, music has always been created to invoke an emotion in its listeners. Pop, rock, rap, RnB, soul, blues, jazz, metal, country, we all have our favourite genre of these wonderful complications to listen to and lose ourselves in. Some of these songs make us happy. Some make us sad. Some make us laugh . . . .

And others make me want to gauge out voice boxes and Fus Ro Dah assholes off of cliff faces.

Personally, I am a rock/disco/pop fan, so I hate 99% of today’s techno hits that are coming out. But before I insult anyone on their music taste, when I say shit music, I am not actually talking about the genre of what a song is. I am more referring to the lyrical ’genius’ of artists when they are composing a song. While it is perfectly possible for artists to create a song not only with good music but with good lyrics too, good quality lyrics are being sacrificed more often these days while being replaced with shallow and meaningless ones. Don’t get me wrong, not all lyrics have to be meaningful and shitty lyrics span across all types of genres, but at the risk of sounding like a cranky old grandma that’s going to beat you with her walking stick while nagging your ear off about ‘back in her day’, I am fairly certain our poor radios have been subjected to their fair share of dumbassery in concentrated amounts over the past few years , starting with . . . . .

1) She’s so Mean by Matchbox Twenty

The lyrics:

‘She’ll make you take her to the club, but then she leaves with her friends
She likes to stay late at the party cause the fun never ends
And all her clothes are on the floor, and all your records are scratched
She’s like a one-way ticket cause you can’t come back

Sayin’ yeah, and you want her
But she’s so mean
(You’ll never let her go, why don’t you let her go?)
Yeah, and you want her
But she’s so mean
(You’ll never let her go, why don’t you let her go?)’

That’s right fellas, apparently as long as your girlfriend is hot, her personality doesn’t count for a penny! She’s a complete bitch you say? Doesn’t matter, she’s hot dude! She’s destroying your shit? Oh you, that shouldn’t come into account you silly fool, I mean her face completely excuses her actions, she’s a real keeper!

I don’t know about you guys, but if I had some woman destroying my stuff and ditching me for her friends, I wouldn’t give a dog turd about how hot her face was, that bitch is getting fly kicked!

2) That’s what makes you Beautiful by One Direction (Note: no picture is included for said song as I outright refuse to see that people looking up One Direction have been directed to my blog via google search)

The lyrics:

‘Baby you light up my world like nobody else
The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed
But when you smile at the ground it aint hard to tell
You don’t know you’re beautiful, that’s what makes you beautiful!’

Firstly, this meme describes my first objection to your stupid lyrics perfectly:

Secondly, doesn’t this girl you are talking about that is beautiful because she doesn’t know she’s beautiful now know she’s beautiful so that means she is no longer beautiful?

3) Peacock by Katy Perry

The lyrics:

‘Are you brave enough to let me see your peacock? Don’t be a chicken boy, stop acting like a biatch. I’m a peace out if you don’t give me the pay off, Come on baby let me see your whatchu hidin’ underneath! I wanna see your peacock, cock cock (repeat cock a few more hundred times)’

Katy Perry is certainly passionate about seeing her man’s colourful bird up front! I’m not sure how many guys would be able to satisfy her though, I mean, what guy drags his peacock around on a date? Oh wait….. you mean she actually means she wants to see his….. OH! What a delightfully clever play on words, oh Katy, you certainly are subtle!

4) Call Me Maybe by Carly Rae Jepsen

The lyrics:

‘Your stare was holding
Ripped jeans, skin was showing
Hot night, wind was blowing
Where you think you’re going, baby?

Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy
But here’s my number, so call me maybe
It’s hard to look right, at you baby
But here’s my number, so call me maybe

Before you came into my life I missed you so bad
I missed you so bad… I missed you so, so bad’

Hey you just met him, and you’re fucking crazy. Give him your number, and he’ll stalk you maybe! Wait, maybe I’ve got it around the wrong way around! ’Before you came into my life I missed you so bad’? Firstly, we can clearly see Carly has impeccable logic. Secondly, how long has Carly been following this poor guy around without ever making her presence known to him?! DON’T TAKE HER NUMBER MAN, RUN WHILE YOU CAN! Better run fast though, from the sounds of it Carly isn’t going to let you get very far…

6) Friday by Rebecca Black

The lyrics:

Seven a.m., waking up in the morning
Gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs
Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal
Seein’ everything, the time is goin’
Tickin’ on and on, everybody’s rushin’
Gotta get down to the bus stop
Gotta catch my bus, I see my friends (My friends)

Kickin’ in the front seat
Sittin’ in the back seat
Gotta make my mind up
Which seat can I take?

Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday
Today i-is Friday, Friday (Partyin’)
We-we-we so excited
We so excited’

Phew, I wish my life was that exciting when I was 12 years old! Getting up at 7am, eating cereal and choosing what seat to sit in in the car, woah! I mean, being given the choice of sitting in the front seat or the back seat by your parents is pretty damn life changing at 12! You’ll look totally bitchin’ and be ready to paaarrtaay……. at your 4-year-old cousins birthday party And wait, you’re telling me that if yesterday was Thursday, that means today is Friday?!?!

THAT IS TOTALLY LIFE CHANGING, I AM SO GLAD YOU FELT THE NEED TO ADD THIS INTO A SONG SO THE WORLD CAN REVEL IN THIS NEW THEORY!

7) Skater Boy by Avril Lavigne

The lyrics:

‘He was a boy
She was a girl
Can I make it anymore obvious?’

WHERE ARE THESE PEOPLE COMING UP WITH THESE WONDERFUL NEW REVOLUTIONARY DISCOVERIES?! MIND BLOWN.

8) Hot Problems by Double Take

The lyrics:

‘Just cuz I’m pretty
I have to be dumb
I don’t care about wits
I just wanna have fun.

Hot girls we have problems too
We’re just like you
Except we’re hot
The world needs to open their eyes
and realise
We’re not perfect and sometimes we lie!

Just kidding,
we’re perfect!’

Everyone, please take a moment to mourn for the ‘hot girls’ of the world and really think about how difficult life must be to be dumb, misunderstood and to be like normal people but hot …….. that second over yet? We done? Great! I cried you a river Double Take, I really did, but I don’t understa….. I can’t even…… DA FUQ?! When I first saw the lyrics I thought these girls must have been joking and taking the piss, but upon watching the video, the sad thing is they are actually serious. At least the song had a happy ending though right? I mean, after describing the troubles these poor pre-pubescent little snots girls have to face daily by not being perfect, in the end it turns out they are actually perfect and being good-looking and dumb is great!

While there is no doubt these songs have been popular, music artists these days are a total cop out when it comes to their lyrics, and quite frankly make my ears bleed! I don’t know about you, but I would rather write a single good quality song that meant something beyond genitalia, hot girls or which seat I should take in the car on a Friday and that would be remembered for a lifetime rather than a shitty little tune with lyrics that a three-year old could babble out and make a quick buck. While there would be many people who would disagree with me on my criticisms of these songs, I have one further point to push my Grandma case of why musical lyrics were better ‘back in the day’:

It took 7 people to write Justin Bieber’s song ‘Baby’ which consists of about a dozen words. It took ONE MAN to write the musical masterpiece that is Bohemian Rhapsody.

Until next rant lovelies

A big belated thankyou!

Over the past couple months I may have been absent, but it certainly didn’t escape my notice that some of my lovely followers had nominated me for some lovely awards in my time away! While some of them were from a while ago and some only recently, I thought I would make up a quick post to say thankyou to all of those wonderful followers who nominated me as well as make some nominations of my own!

Oh Yes They Did nominated me for the Readers Appreciation Award! OhYesTheyDid can be described perfectly by the bloggers opening statement in her ‘About’: ‘Let’s face it, people are stupid, and stupid people are amusing!’ From shitty inventions sold on Etsy to stories about people who are completely nuts, OhYesTheyDid always provides a great laugh!

My nomination: Blogs-of-a-Bookaholic - Becky always gives such great indepth and honest book reviews (and even when she doesn’t like a book she directs you to another blog/review to provide you with a different opinion so she doesn’t potentially put you off of a book that you may like) that I think she deserves some Readers Appreciation!

Long Life Cats and Dogs nominated me for the Illuminating Blogger Award! Susan is an animal lover that started her blog in the hope of introducing the lives of the people and animals in Animal Welfare Shelters and wishes to work towards animal awareness!

My nomination: Mikumi Musings - A very illuminating blog into what it is like to live for a year in Africa! Her stories are so interesting though she does have trouble sometimes with her internet connection due to elephants rubbing up against the satellite dish!

EatSleepProcrastinate nominated me for the Sunshine Award! Rob writes about everything and anything. Besides having a great sense of humor and writing style I think Rob pretty much describes the basis of life with his blog name!

My nominations: Rambles, rants and raves – I love this girl’s blog so much! B is such a fantastic writer and her posts are always so true and really make you think about how we function (and how messed up our perception is) as a society.

Random Rants - She is one of the few people on WordPress that I actually know in person and we have been friends for many years She has just started up her blog, so check it out! If you like Dr. Who, you and her will get along just fine!

The wonderful Rambles, Rants and Raves mentioned above nominated me for the Inspiring Blogger Award! Again, and I stress this – LOOK AT HER BLOG RIGHT NOW!

My nomination: Lots’boutnothin’ – One of the first bloggers that I began properly having conversations with and even emailing each other rants about the Hunger Games, she is a wonderful easy going person with a very refreshing and inspiring view on life and has some very cute cats!

And finally, Defining Wonderland and Lots about nothin (as mentioned above) nominated me for the Liebster Blog Award (an appreciation award for those with less than 200 followers)! Defining Wonderland poses questions, tells stories and offers words of wisdom that she has gathered through ‘this strange thing we call life’ I always love reading her stories and positive outlooks on life!

My nomination: The Postulating Engineer - Jeremy likes sci-fi, books, loves nerdy things and writes great reviews on movies, besides being a lovely person to have a conversation with!

Thankyou again for all the lovely nominations guys, I really appreciate it! Rather than telling you 7 points about myself for EACH award, I have answered a set of questions given to me by Defining Wonderland with my award, and those you I have nominated, I pass on this set of questions to you too so get answering!

1) What is your favorite 80′s film and why?

Back to the Future. My brother and I watched this movie dozens of times and I am still not sick of it, besides, the idea of time travel fascinates me!

2) If you could live in any fictional world, which one would it be?

Pandora on the movie Avatar before the humans came to exploit their resources. Pandora shows us an almost alternate universe of how humans could have interacted with their world, care for it, nurture it, live harmoniously with it……. the alternative we did not choose. For me, Pandora would be my paradise, the beautiful scenery, the simplified way of life, the unique animals …. if I could just forget about the whole creepy ‘lets have sex with our ponytails which we also happen to attach to the horses we ride’

3) A time machine is invented, but a person can only take one trip.  Do you go to the past or the future?  Why?

Definitely the past when humanity wasn’t so screwed up. Maybe I could go back to the 80′s with my boyfriend and we could attend many Bon Jovi concerts and live in the rock n’ roll era Oh, and also go and see Queen!

4) How did you come up with the title of your blog?

Was playing around with 2 word combinations of what sounded catchy but would also describe me in a nutshell. Three days later…. Remain Insane was born

5) What is the most important item on your bucket list?

To at least go to Borneo once in my lifetime to work with my beloved orangutans. One day, I don’t know when, I don’t know for how long and I don’t know how, but one day I will hold those darling orphaned baby orangutans in my arms and probably cry my eyes out with joy!

6) All’s fair in love and war.   True or false?

False. With my understanding of the statement my rebuttal is: Just because something can be explained by an emotion as strong as love or as an event as significant as war doesn’t necessarily make it fair.

7) What is your go-to karaoke (or shower) song?

It changes all the time! At the moment it is ’50 Ways to say Goodbye’ by Train

8) Which sense could you live without?

Wow this one was a hard one! After going through the senses, I decided I would have to live without smell (lets just pretend it doesn’t affect my taste! ), I’ve got too many other uses for touch, sight, hearing and taste!

9) Would you rather be loved because you are needed or needed because you are loved?

Needed because I am loved

10) What do you really think of these blogging awards?

I think they are a lovely way to brighten someones day and say ‘Hey you there, I like your blog and word vomit, keep it up!’

11) Where were you on your eleventh birthday?

Desperately waiting for my Hogwarts letter. Actually, I’m still kinda hoping my letter just got lost in the mail and it’ll eventually find its way to me….. they’d still take a 21-year-old right…… RIGHT?! D:

Until next time lovlies! ^_^