Remain Insane

Ramblings of an animal loving, people hating, game enthusing, book nerd :D

Synthetic Evil! May 16, 2012

Random Raging Rant No. 2: Technology

 Since the 90’s, we humans have begun to move into the technological age filled with an unimaginable amount of fantastic fandangos. Phones that only text and call, TV’s that only play analog, video players and gaming consoles with cute shitty graphics? Please! We now have phones that have everything from internet to games, TV’s that play digital and 3D channels, DVD’s and Bluerays, and top of the line gaming with graphics that virtually knock your socks off. All these things are all wonderful and great of course, UNTIL THEY COMPLETELY SHIT THEIR PANTS FOR ABSOLUTELY NO REASON. WHAT. SO. EVER.

Imagine technology is a person. Now this person and I, we don’t exactly get along. In fact, I would like to hit this person. With a monster truck. At 500km an hour. Multiple times. Then burn them on a bonfire and dance around it.

I have the uncanny ability of making every piece of technology I touch malfunction, so much so that I believe that it is no longer coincidence. So it seems that this absolute burning hate dislike I have for technology is not only one-sided. I came to this conclusion:

When I went into my phone contacts, which was apparently too much to ask of my phone, and it completely shat itself. Permanently.

 When my new phone decided it really likes sending me messages telling me where I am via satellite, even if I haven’t changed my location. EVERY. DAY. HUNDREDS OF TIMES.

When my computer got bored with life and ate its hard drive. While I was writing important assignments. Twice.

 When I was writing my last post and my computer was being an asshole critic and deleted it before I could manage to post it. THREE TIMES.


Excuse me one moment.

While I’ll admit to my fair share of destroying pieces of technology through my incurable and persistent klutziness (perhaps by dropping them or spilling liquid on them . . . . . :D), it seem about 99% of the time, I just have to touch the thing and it breaks. This absolutely flipping fantastic talent of destroying every electronic I touch is going as far as ATM’s not working for me! When I tell people this, they always say ‘You must be doing something wrong then, no one is THAT unlucky.’ Yet then when I see them do exactly what I’d do, things work fine for them. So I am here to tell you that it IS in fact possible to be that unlucky with technology, for here I am! 😛 Yet as much as it pains me and as much as I hate technology, I always go back to using it. I mean how else am I supposed to write blogs, type essays and play Lego Starwars?! It just makes me want to put my head through a wall that something that provides me an enormous amount of entertainment also makes me want to cave someones skull in. I will always TRY (key word being ‘try’) to use electronics, knowing that at some point they’ll no doubt malfunction on me. I’ll have a tantrum that’d rival a 3 year olds, sit in the corner pouting and sulking for an hour, then go turn the stupid thing back on. It’s a vicious cycle. And a love hate relationship.

But mostly hate 😀

Until next rant my lovlies! ^_^


25 Responses to “Synthetic Evil!”

  1. Andrew Says:

    Don’t let the robots win!

    • Gemma Says:

      Haha don’t worry, I won’t! 😛 Maybe its time I get a hammer out to ‘fix’ the malfunctions ;P thanks for the comment! 🙂

  2. Girl I so know how you feel! My phone always has a brain fart when I am trying to play angry birds! So epic fail!!

  3. planettwentytwo Says:

    Star Wars Lego FTW!! I’m having a love/hate relationship with my Xbox 360 at the moment. That son of a bitch ALWAYS freezes on me! Never had that problem with the N64 🙂

    Oh! Don’t even get me started on my old Motorola.

    • Gemma Says:

      It seems to be that way, old gaming consoles like N64 and Xbox are survivors and still work, yet the newer ‘better’ consoles like PS3 and Xbox 360’s are bitches! Btw I’m totally jealous that you have an N64! I’ve been itching to play some old school vintage games, I just have to find a way to get my hands on them! Haha Motorola’s are pretty bad, get a Nokia, those things are tanks and can completely withstand getting dropped (which I throughly tested) 😀

  4. davidbgoode Says:

    I was blessed with the red ring of death! And now my power chord doesn’t work, so no fixing at home. But I’m curious, my curse seems to be wrapped up in mechanical objects, not electronics as much. Are cars still friendly to you?

    • Gemma Says:

      Ah the red ring of death! I’ve had that too! 🙂 Haha I wouldn’t know, I don’t drive! 😛 I’m always on trains and buses that decided to either crash or spontaneously break down, does that count? 😛 Thanks for the comment and subscribing! ^_^

  5. Hahahaha I love your image choice here. I really felt the techno-pain.

    • Gemma Says:

      Haha at least I’m not the only one! 🙂 Technology sucks 😛 Hehe I’m glad you like them! 🙂 thanks for subscribing lovely! ^_^

  6. randominternetstuff Says:

    I lived through the 80’s when tech like this was just starting to take off. If people had a phone besides their landline, they might have a car phone (rich people). “Cell phones” had a bag the size of shoe box connected to it..with a coiled cord. Only doctors had pagers. If you had a computer most people only used them like a typewriter and the coolest program to have was “The Print Shop” which slowly printed out extremely low quality banners on noisy dot matrix printers (no colors-just grey ink.) The original Nintendo was fun and you got 2 controllers, a couple of games, a gun (maybe more accessories) in one box!!! Other games were affordable and there were a lot more. It was not a big deal to record a movie that was playing on the t.v. or make mix tape. But most importantly, people still went outside and played with their friends, ran around, made actual human contact.. and we were just fine.. and a lot healthier. I miss those days.

    • Gemma Says:

      Yeah some people definately take it a bit too far when it comes to living through electronics! As much as I use today’s technology, I think I would have prefered the life you just described rather than all the confusing stuff we have today! 🙂 thanks for stopping by and commenting! ^_^

  7. sniffmyring Says:

    Funnily enough, I have the same problem. A friend of mine had the same phone as me; mine constantly spazzed out on a major scale ALL THE TIME but his was fine. Anway when he went to upgrade to a different phone, he passed me it to hold for a few seconds. No sooner than had it touched my hand, THE DAMN THING FROZE!!!! I believe you, because I too, am the scourge of technology!

  8. Haha!This one is really facetious… 😀 😛

  9. pixello Says:

    This did make me giggle quite a bit. I KNOW YOUR PAIN! This sounds like something I’d write, but far better written! FIGHT THE POWER!

    • Gemma Says:

      Hehe aw thankyou so much love, I’m glad you liked it! 😀 I will try my hardest to fight it, but I will resort to throwing things to try and make them work 😛 Thanks for subscribing as well! 😀

  10. Haylee Says:

    I know what you mean! When I was designing my blog yesterday (after a long-time hate/hate relationship with WordPress as an engine, I finally caved) it completely ate the whole thing – the design, the post… just long enough for me to despair and start to do it again, then up it pops, like it never left. :S And my husband turns off electric lights with his presence. We’ll be walking, or just standing there, and they’ll go out. Enough times during our relationship for it to no longer be a coincidence.

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