I am about as agile and nimble as a mountain goat on crack.
My mind is actually quite graceful. It knows perfectly well how to properly walk down a flight of stairs, or walk properly at all for that matter, while avoiding looking like a ninny. My limbs dearly wishes to follow through on this, but this happy combination of elegant mind and body is apparently too much of an appallingly boring idea for the rest of my body. In the process of the delicately formed messages of elegance and poise being sent from my mind to my arms and legs, every single one of my synapses simultaneously decides to be a total asshole, and rather than executing an action in the graceful form my brain commanded, they decide to take their own fun little spin on things. Hilarity often ensues, which comes in the form of flailing limbs and chaos:
What my brain says: Ok Gemma, firstly open the door, THEN walk forward.
What my body does: KEEP WALKING WHILE OPENING DOOR! 😀
What my brain says: Don’t skip the last step or you’ll fall. And make sure you hold onto your stuff tightly just in case.
What my body does: SKIP LAST STEP! THROW ALL OBJECTS! 😀
What my brain says: You guys did a great job, high five time!
What my body does: FACE HIGH FIVE! 😀
What my brain says: Chocolate goes in your mouth Gemma.
What my body does: CHOCOLATE GOES ON FACE! 😀
Add these on top of answering those who say hello to you with ‘Good thanks’ or ‘Hi-lo’ (combination of Hello and Hi), social
akward awkard akjsdghlisdghidugh awkwardness, the inability to spell the word awkward, and the fact that the automatic tags to this post are suggesting that I have a number of neurological disorders, you have the joy that is me.
Moral of the story: Probably don’t try to high-five me.