Remain Insane

Ramblings of an animal loving, people hating, game enthusing, book nerd :D

‘The English langauge is spoken fluently throughout Western society’….said no one ever September 12, 2012

Filed under: The People Hating — Gemma @ 6:42 pm
Tags: , , , , , , ,

For any other animal, the word evolution means that a fascinating and wondrous change has occurred for the better. Whether it be ‘this animal has evolved wings’ or ‘that animal has evolved to be the fastest thing on the planet’, evolution is forever looking for ways to improve the creatures it has so carefully crafted, and continues to work towards new improvements every day. Unfortunately, an evolution of sorts has occurred in humans and has been out of natures control to improve it. And rather than this movement taking leaps forward as an ‘evolutionary movement’ should, it has made mankind sound like a total bunch of buffoons:

The evolution of the English language.

While there are some real doozies, the following are what I belive are some of the worst words/sayings to ever grace our lovely language. And this is only the tip of the iceberg folks, it’s a downward spiral from here!

Exhibit A: YOLO

Definition: I’m a moron! You only live once.

Used in statements such as: Just got caught having sex with my best friend’s boyfriend….. YOLO!

Why this makes my ears bleed: You never see this ‘inspirational’ abbreviation referred to a worthwhile event in ones life such as ‘Just went sky diving, YOLO’. Instead, it is only ever used by prepubescent dumbasses (who have COMPLETELY taken the wrong message from this saying) who have done something completely moronic and they assume shouting ‘YOLO’ excuses what ever it is they have done. YOLO is not an excuse to make batshit crazy decisions. And if you only live one life, WHY ARE YOU LIVING IT LIKE A F*CKHEAD AND RISK RUINING IT WITH RASH DECISIONS?! Say YOLO while in my presence, and you are not going to be living your one life much longer. In the words of Jack Black: I fairly sure YOLO is just Carpe Diem for stupid people.

Exhibit B: Nek Minnit

Definition: Next minute.

Used in statements such as: One minute it was there, nek minnit, it was gone!

Why this makes my ears bleed: Congratulations, by saying ‘nek minute’ you have saved 0.000000001 milliseconds of your time via your ingenious ability to cut a single letter out of what was obviously an already hugely difficult phrase. Oh, and you’ve also made yourself sound like a total ass. Speak like that again, and NEXT MINUTE, you are going to my fist in your face.

Exhibit C: Boi/gurl

Definition: Boy and girl

Used in statements such as: Hey booooiii/gurrrl!


Exhibit D: Smexy

Definition: A supposedly completely f*cked up cutsie way of saying sexy, or is smart and sexy combined.

Used in statements such as: Oooomg, me so smexy!

Why this makes my ears bleed: I’m sorry, if you use this word, you might be sexy, but you are DEFINATELY not smart. For the love of god, take the extra five seconds to say both words, smart and sexy, and save yourself the embarrassment.

Exhibit E: Swag

Definition: A ‘cool’ demeanor, style and how you present yourself.

Used in statements such as: Damn, that boy’s got swag!

Why this makes my ears bleed: To be honest I don’t even actually know what the hell swag is, it just sounds a total load of tosh that is just a lame excuse for being a dick.

Exhibit F: Ya’ll

Definition: You all.

Used in statements such as: Hey ya’ll!

Why this makes my ears bleed: Ok before I offend anyone who says this, this is just one of those weird unjustified pet peeves of mine 😛 It is also completely hypocritical of me, being Australian, in the same sentence to say ‘G’day’ and then that I hate the phrase ‘ya’ll’, but I hold Miley Cyrus personally responsible for raping my ears with it about 100 times per Hannah Montana episode 😛

Exhibit G: Straya’ c*nt!

Definition: A completely feral way of saying you have Aussie pride.

Used in statements such as: /feral does something classed as Australian: Straya cu*t!

Why this makes my ears bleed: If any of you have ever been to Australia, or live in Australia, no doubt you would have seen some of our *cough* wonderful bogans, that look a little something like this:

I am all for these guys having pride in our lovely country, but anything with that revolting word in it makes me cringe. If that’s the way you are going to show Australian pride, please drink some more beer until you pass out and we don’t have to hear you talk. What ever happened to the good old ‘Aussie aussie aussie oi oi oi!’?

Honestly, cavemen grunting at each other is more understandable. Though used in common conversation these days, these type of words drive the English student in me up the wall and honestly question if the younger generations that use these words actually have an IQ higher than single digits. Unfortunately, there is no hope to salvage the English language, and some genius will no doubt continue to come up with these ‘hip’ and ‘cool’ sayings that people will feel the need to work into every sentence to raise their stupid status among their equally stupid peers.

I only have one potential solution to this downward spiral: Begin to beat people to death with dictionaries.

 Let the Oxford beatings begin >:)


19 Responses to “‘The English langauge is spoken fluently throughout Western society’….said no one ever”

  1. Shea Says: Do you know how long it took me to figure out what ‘nek minnit’ even means?! YOLO had to potential to be okay if people used it properly, like your example. Keep it up Gem 😀

    • Gemma Says:

      Haha thanks love 😀 Me too, I actually had to google it when I first started hearing it and was just like o.O da fuq?! I prefer Carpe Diem, but thats only because YOLO is so overused 😛

  2. ThatRobHall Says:

    YOLO always seemed to me like a really bad way to tell the Hindus that their entire belief in reincarnation was wrong…

    I’ve never heard half of these things like “Nek Minnit”. I hope that doesn’t make its way to England anytime soon…

    • Shea Says:

      You are so lucky you don’t have to put up with seeing it (nek minnit) all over facebook. I was unfortunate enough to come across the original video the other day.

      • Gemma Says:

        I’ve seen it a couple times on facebook and that was enough annoyance for me 😛 I just don’t understand why anyone would want to copy what that guy said, it just sounds feral -__-

    • Gemma Says:

      True, I hadn’t actually thought of it that way, it actually just adds to how much I hate it 😛
      Haha thats definately a good thing you haven’t heard of them yet! I think it is just limited to Australia at the moment, the twats over here hear something once (with nek minnut originating from literally being said ONCE by a feral gentleman on the TV, now everyone seems to say it) and seem to then think its awesome and never.stop.saying it. It makes me die a little inside -___-

  3. mandarox Says:

    That’s all so true! As an honourary Grammer nazi really hate it when people spell things intentionally wrong (I once had a friend who spelt ‘the’ like ‘teh’… All the time!). YOLO is one of the worst. The first time I heard it I thought ‘who would make up a phrase like that?’ The answer; idiots. The constant swearing of Australian bogans! Save me, please! My ears! PS: I love how autocorrect has corrected ‘minnit’ several times 😛

    • Gemma Says:

      Urgh, I hate that too when people spell things the wrong way on purpose to be cutsie, makes me want to backhand them 😛 Hahahaha I didn’t actually even notice that I’d typed ‘minute’ instead of minnit, it must be a huge struggle for my brain to even type it 😛

  4. beckyday6 Says:

    Haha ha haa, ohh that chipmunk (I think it’s a chipmunk?! Anyone? :L) video gets me everytime.

    YOLO must be DESTROYED. I hate that saying. It is by far the worst. Swag comes in close second, not to mention every time I see/hear it a picture of Cher Loyd pops up into my head -_- If she has swag, I sure as hell don’t want to be anywhere near it.

    Also that phase where everyone was inserting ‘like’ between every other world. IRRITATING.

    The only one I disagree on is Ya’ll, I LOVE that word haha. 😛 But then, I am completely in love with country accents. Although, if every time I heard it I remembered Miley, I would probably soon go off it. :L

    • Gemma Says:

      Hahaha its the best video! I have heard it called so many things, but I think it is either a chipmunk or a gopher 🙂

      I agree, YOLO and swag are so stupid! We need to begin eliminating people 😉 Young teenage girls are the WORST for saying ‘like’! When ever I have to say it I cringe at myself, even if it isnt in that irritating context 😛

      Hahahahaha I think that’s what did it, I never used to mind it because its just America’s version of G’day, but after hearing her say 10000000000000 times I began to hate it 😛

  5. I am really pleased to announce that I have not heard of the majority of these. What a relief 🙂 At least if I do hear them, I’ll have the vaguest idea what the person is saying. 😀

    • Gemma Says:

      Haha lucky you! 😀 I wish my ears didn’t have to be subjected to such rubbish 😛 Hahaha that definately is one of the worst parts about it, at first I had no idea what most of these ment, they may as well have been speaking a different language 😛

  6. Hahaha being grammar nazis, we love this post!!!

    We personally prefer YODO – You Only Die Once 🙂

    • Gemma Says:

      There isn’t enough grammar nazis around these days, there needs to be more of us to keep at least part of the world properly educated! 😛 Hahaha its definately better than YOLO, urgh, it makes me want to backhand someone 🙂 Thanks for stopping by and subscribing lovely! 🙂

  7. […] the hilarious post that inspired us to write about this, click here! Share this:TwitterFacebookLike this:LikeBe the first to like this. Leave a Comment by […]

  8. Jeremy Says:

    Hahahaha, best post I’ve seen in a while! 🙂 And the Pulp Fiction line fits so well! Say YOLO again, I dare you! I double dare you you-waste-of-space-imbecile!

  9. I love how people have embraced YOLO like it is a new thing. I’m pretty sure since the beginning of civilizaiton we have only been given the ability to live once. I guess cats could use YOL9 times.

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