Remain Insane

Ramblings of an animal loving, people hating, game enthusing, book nerd :D

Hey Mr. Grumpy Gills! June 5, 2013

It can begin with something as little as having to go to work or school. Maybe some asshole customer was rude to you, or you stubbed your toe. Sometimes it begins with simply just having to get out of bed. It doesn’t matter what mood you’re in either – be it happy, sad, chilled out –  all it takes is for a single event to occur or word to be said and suddenly……..

A bad mood, the grumbles, or a severe case of the crankies strikes! In one swift stroke, you have been transformed from a calm and normal human that is able to handle irritating situations into someone who has the capability to break into a rage over everything and anything!

No….. paper…… towels?!

These seedy little bastards like to crop up and turn you into a raging hulk at any given opportunity, lurking behind every human interaction or dropped pencil. And what’s worse, once you have caught a case of the crankies, it is near impossible to get out of it! I hear you say ‘But Gemma, a smile and a positive attitude will fix that grumpy mood!’. This is easier said than done, and can sometimes put you even more on edge. If you look anything like me when I try to smile while furious, I recommend to just keep the ‘I’m angry’ face. You might look like a grump, but you will be less likely to make small children cry.

Once a bad mood has wormed its way into our day, you either try and get rid of that bitch quick, or be doomed to experience what shall be dubbed as ‘The Three Stages of Anger’. Each is a different phase of severity, but if you do not break a bad mood fast these naturally occurring stages will help shit hit the fan (figuratively or literally, depending on level of sanity retained while raging) in no time!

Stage 1: Annoyance and Denial

Stage 1 usually begins with something small, maybe someone has just told you the ending to a movie you were really looking forward to see, or maybe you happened to pick the one trolley that screeches like a banshee so people stare at you while you do your shopping.

Usually this stage will happen early on in your day, and is often the beginning of a cascade of irritating situations. You are peeved off and annoyed, but still have enough sense to realise how strange it would look to have a temper tantrum over something so small, so you exercise your self control and attempt to act as if nothing has happened. You try to convince yourself that it didn’t bother you and that it would be silly to get angry over something little…… but you can’t help but feeling a little bit pissy.

Stage 2: Frustration and Contemplation

The beginning of Stage 2 is often triggered by a series of unfortunate events after the initial cause of Stage 1, where each successive event has felt just that little bit more dramatic and anger worthy. You have now surpassed the level of self control you still held in Stage 1, and are now prone to random outbursts of rage at any given moment.

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By this point you have given up on denial and have accepted the fact that you are in a bad mood and begin to hate everything. Rather than trying to pretend these things aren’t bothering you, you begin to contemplate and fantasize about exactly how much you could get away with, like: ‘I wonder how that person would react if I were to sock them in the face?’ or ‘How many items could I throw off of this shelf before security tackles me?’

 Stage 3: Infuriation and Destruction

The onslaught of this final stage usually begins the same way Stage 1 does, with something so completely and insignificantly small it usually would not even warrant a mild swear. But by this point, you no longer recognise this nor care. With all inhibitions and self control thrown to the wind, your simmering bad mood is just waiting for an excuse to boil over. And when Stage 3 hits, a simple every-day interaction with someone can result in, what looks like from an outsiders perspective, a completely unjustified bat-shit crazy reaction.

‘Hi, how are you?’

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After this stage it is usually best to go home and lie low for a while, as you have probably been labelled as a public menace with anger management issues 😛

While some people try smiling their way through a bad mood or forcing themselves out of it, there is only one holdfast solution to get rid of a grumpy mood once and for all:

Watch Finding Nemo 😉

Until next time lovelies 🙂

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Happy blogiversary Remain Insane! May 29, 2013

If my blog was a person, I’m pretty sure it would be pissed off at me right now or embracing its namesake, losing its shit and flinging faeces at me, as I did the worst thing you can do in a relationship with someone……. I missed our 1 year anniversary together.

Oh shit!

Oh Remain Insane, please forgive me! I still love you, we just needed some time apart to make me fall in love with you again! Don’t look at me like that, I had other things I had to do! No I didn’t cheat on you! Those other assignments for uni meant nothing to me baby, I swear, you are my one and only! Here, I’ll make it up to you, here’s a happy party cat to celebrate our anniversary with us!

Can you not see the joy radiating from him?! What about a dancing duck?!

Look, don’t be mad, I even made you a cake! And by ‘made you a cake’ I mean typed in ‘Happy Blogiversary’ into google search and copied the first picture I found 😀

Now that all is forgiven, as no one can resist a funky duck, a cute kitty AND cupcakes, Happy blogiversary Remain Insane! 😀 32 posts, 692 comments, 256 followers and 27, 488 views, it’s been one whole year since I decided I’d like to have my own little corner of the internet to upload my word vomit and share the insanity, and as it turns out, a whole lot of people are happy to remain insane with me, go team! XD

Remain Insane and I have had some good times together over the year. Like one of my very first posts about the amazing bird called Alex who could not only talk, but could actually understand what he was saying (Alex the Grey, move aside Gandalf!), or the time I very successfully scared some people off of coming to Australia (Australia – What they didn’t show you in the adverts), or my most popular post, a raging rant on why I hate people (which was just the tip of the iceberg folks 😉 ) (Dumb and Dumber) 😛 I have also received so many lovely awards and comments from so many lovely people, 2 of which I found I had waiting in my notifications today! Thankyou littlebookblog and brityell for nominating me for the Versatile Blogger and Sunshine Award!

I would like to pass these awards on to:
Freak of Fandom – an awesome blog I only just came across the other day, I have only read half a dozen of her posts but they are great, so check her out! 🙂

Throat of the World – Because I love freaking LOVE Skyrim and this blog makes my inner Dovahkiin happy 😀

and last but not least

Saving our relatives – a fairly new blog by a lovely lady who has a passion for primates, particularly Chimps 🙂 I feel you primate loving sister! 😛

You ladies definitely deserve them! You can find the pictures for the awards in my side bar over that-a-way >> 🙂

Now I’m not so good at following the rules thing, so I’ll just go ahead and answer the questions that come with them 😛

Favourite colour: Fluro green :D

Favourite animal:  Orangutans and African Grey Parrots and Kitties!

Favourite number: 83586762872084 😉

Favourite non-alcoholic drink: I know I really should say something healthy like ‘Water’, but in all seriousness I love sugar, GIVE ME VANILLA COKE! 😀

Favourite alcoholic drink: Currently Butterscotch Schnapps!

Facebook or TwitterWordPress 😉

My passions: Books, games, animals, hating people, you know, the usual 😛

Giving or receiving gifts: Giving, I love spoiling the ones I love! …….and ok I won’t lie, receiving gifts is also pretty darn dandy! 😀

Favourite city: Erm, well I don’t really want to say the capital of SA, but its the only city I know well enough, so Adelaide it is! Congrats Adelaide, you win by default! 😛

Favourite TV showsScrubs and Modern Family 🙂

It’s been a great year Remain Insane, and I promise you that the barrage of ranting and crap I upload will continue 😀 Oh, and one other thing. Don’t be mad blog, but I kiiiiiiiinda have these 3 assignments I have to do for uni, so um I kiiiiiiinda might not be paying  you as much attention for the next few days……….. we’re still good though right? RIGHT?!

I’ll take that as a no 😛

Until next time lovelies 🙂

 

Life as of late! October 17, 2012

 After typing a gazillion essays (YAY FOR UNI -___-), not yet being bothered to complete all of my actual interesting but lengthy blog posts, having a complete burn out and not being able to comprehend what is going on half the time, here is my life as of late in picture form!

Stop the press, GEMMA ACTUALLY DID SOMETHING WITH HER HAIR! Those that personally know me know how big this is. My whole life I have never done anything with my virgin brown hair, so Steven decided to pay for me to get a change and get it dip dyed caramel blonde. I have to say I am extremely happy with the result, I have always liked the ombre colouring, and it goes perfectly with brown spastic curly hair that is kept down 99% of the time such as mine. And best of all, it is easily maintainable for the lazy bastard in me 😀

Steven and I celebrated our 3 year anniversary. This man means more to me than words can describe, and he has made the last three years of my life amazing. Love you always baby! 🙂 ❤

We also both just turned 21. This doesn’t really bother us, as we both already know no matter what age we are, we are always going to act like 5 year olds 😀 We also had a 21st BBQ, which was a big thing for us because we are usually antisocial and have an overwhelming need to cut off total human contact once it gets dark 😛 It turned out to be a wonderful night full of tipsy fun, in which I discovered I can still Gangnam style (If you are not sure of the dance and song I am talking about, go onto Youtube and look up ‘Gangnam style’ by PSY) like a boss while drunk:

After dancing to it once, everyone seemed very impressed with my dancing and insisted it was done again. Only the next morning could I actually recall how many people actually filmed a video of my dancing, and while I have seen it and was quite proud of my moves, that is one video I don’t think I’ll be showing you 😉

This 21st gift from my little brother made my inner nerd have a fan girl episode and squeal with glee. IT IS AN ACTUAL LIFE SIZED COSPLAY KEYBLADE. ISN’T IT AWESOME?! I might not be prepared for the zombie apocalypse, but if the Heartless attack, I AM THE KEYBLADE MASTER! XD

After a year of living in Adelaide and applying for over 100 different jobs, I finally have got one…… at a pet store! 😀 This is currently my second week and I’m loving it so far. And just quietly, I am always happy when a puppy is a fussy eater or its siblings don’t let it have any food, it means I can take it out the back and feed it aka play with it, like this little sweetie 😀 It really makes me want to buy so many puppies, if it was up to me I would have already brought home a Blue Heeler, a Jack Russel, a Koolie, a Siberian Huskey (the little one above^) and a Golden Retriever! I sure if Jasper knew my plans of becoming a crazy dog lady, this would be his reaction:

Dear god….the end is near

At any chance to blow off my uni assignments, I have been devouring this mind blowing series. Seriously, read it right this second. I considered getting this book for about 6 months before actually purchasing it, and I regret not reading it sooner! I’d have to say it is already one of my favourite book series EVER. Jean Auel is an amazing writer, and the whole story is drool worthy. Set in the last Ice Age, the story is based on Ayla, a young European girl who loses her family to an earthquake at the age of 5, and is found and raised by Neanderthals, even though she is classed as one of ‘The Others’. Personally chosen by her totem the Cave Lion, Ayla tries her hardest to be a good Clan woman as she grows, but while her people and the Clan came from the same beginnings, the differences in body and mind between the two are vast. Tested over and over by an enormous amount of trials and tribulations, Ayla must try to repress her differences in order to stay with the only family she has ever known and loved. But as hard as she tries, Ayla is just too different, and has a destiny too great to ignore. After all, the Cave Lion, the strongest of all Clan totems, only chooses those that are meant for greatness. I could go on and on, but in all honesty, it really deserves a blog post in itself to do it any justice.

Uni is also sending me slightly batty, and I haven’t even begun to think about exams which are only 4 weeks away. If I actually manage to stay sane over the next month without some sort of breakdown it’ll be a miracle!

See you all on the flip side of exams! I hope……. /eye twitch

 

I didn’t trip, I was attacking the floor . . . . with my face May 21, 2012

Filed under: The Ramblings — Gemma @ 6:58 pm
Tags: , , , , , ,

I am about as agile and nimble as a mountain goat on crack.

 My mind is actually quite graceful. It knows perfectly well how to properly walk down a flight of stairs, or walk properly at all for that matter, while avoiding looking like a ninny. My limbs dearly wishes to follow through on this, but this happy combination of elegant mind and body is apparently too much of an appallingly boring idea for the rest of my body. In the process of the delicately formed messages of elegance and poise being sent from my mind to my arms and legs, every single one of my synapses simultaneously decides to be a total asshole, and rather than executing an action in the graceful form my brain commanded, they decide to take their own fun little spin on things. Hilarity often ensues, which comes in the form of flailing limbs and chaos:

What my brain says: Ok Gemma, firstly open the door, THEN walk forward.

What my body does: KEEP WALKING WHILE OPENING DOOR! 😀

What my brain says: Don’t skip the last step or you’ll fall. And make sure you hold onto your stuff tightly just in case.

What my body does: SKIP LAST STEP! THROW ALL OBJECTS! 😀

What my brain says: You guys did a great job, high five time!

What my body does: FACE HIGH FIVE! 😀

What my brain says: Chocolate goes in your mouth Gemma.

What my body does: CHOCOLATE GOES ON FACE! 😀

Add these on top of answering those who say hello to you with ‘Good thanks’ or ‘Hi-lo’ (combination of Hello and Hi), social akward awkard akjsdghlisdghidugh awkwardness, the inability to spell the word awkward, and the fact that the automatic tags to this post are suggesting that I have a number of neurological disorders, you have the joy that is me.

Moral of the story: Probably don’t try to high-five me.

 

You’re the devil in disguise May 6, 2012

Filed under: The Animal Loving — Gemma @ 10:02 pm
Tags: , , , , , , ,

 This my friends, is the face of evil:

Oh but don’t be fooled by his looks! Underneath this cute and fluffy exterior is a plotting and diabolical mastermind. When we first got him, while he was quite adorable, we assumed he was simple minded. He kept up this charade very convincingly for months with extremely dedicated idiocy through:

– Killing off a couple hundred brain cells per day through hitting his head on every single object possible.

– Running around the house at top speed on wet floors, losing balance and face planting the walls

– Diving and face planting the TV trying to catch the pretty pictures

– Licking poison

– Getting stuck in the bin

– Jumping in the shower over and over again while the water was on

– And becoming fascinated with and creepily staring at the ‘Magic Box’ (air conditioner)

After all this brain-cell-killing activity, I was very surprised when he started showing a bit of brainage. He would steal my clothes while I was in the shower so I would have to give him attention and chase him. I once spent 5 minutes chasing him around the house while he had a pair of my underwear on his head! When he felt that I was a terrible owner and was not feeding him soon enough, he would open all the cupboard doors himself and get his own food. He has also locked me in an epic battle of tomfoolery. He uses the shock tactic, scaring me when I least suspect it. I on the other hand, like the gentle loving person I am, use brute force >:D Everyday,  Jasper sets himself up in a strategic place around the house, and waits. After about 10 minutes, he will meow. Me being a gullible idiot, will stop what I am doing and try to find him, thinking something is wrong. Then, out of no where, ninja cat comes flying through the air and attacks me like this:

Possibly slightly fabricated

I think through these ambush attacks, it is quite probable that Jasper is in fact trying to give me a heartattack and kill me, in which I believe he will then eat me hence winning the battle. But I will give him no such satisfaction. Fighting back, I have locked him in the cupboard, chased him with the big scary duster, and also turned our water bed into a cat catapult while he was peacefully sleeping on it, by sitting my fat ass on it and sending him flying across the room. As the fight rages on, I seem to be losing miserably. I think more cat-apulting is in order ;D The score stands as such:

Jasper: 459

Gemma: 3

As he sleeps peacefully next to me right this moment, it seems the battle is over for the day, but the night is young. From the evil glaces he was shooting me before, I believe tonight may be the night he finally plans to smother me in my sleep. I shall take the duster to bed with me for protection . . . . just in case. Until next week my lovelies, unless Jasper gets to me first! 😐