Remain Insane

Ramblings of an animal loving, people hating, game enthusing, book nerd :D

How Minecraft is ruining my life February 14, 2014

First I heard whisperings of it, then gamers raving of it, but as it was a computer game, I disregarded it and blissfully ignorant was I. Then, it became available on PS3. Oh, I told myself I would just try it out and that I wouldn’t play it much. I told myself it is only a silly, ‘play-once-in-a-while’ game, and so I logged in for the first time and sold my soul.

For those of you out there who are unfamiliar with the game, let me give you the run down. Prepare to have your mind blown. Ok, you ready for this? You break and place blocks. Yep, that’s it. You break a motherfucking block so you can place a different motherfucking block. The people, the animals, even the clouds, are all in cube form. It is the most simple concept which was most likely born from someone who also coincidentally had ready access to marijuana. But for reasons even unbeknownst to me, I can’t stop playing the fucking thing.

Minecraft 360

My addiction was formed through a two part process. The first was Survival Mode. When you begin, you start with absolutely nothing but your character Steve. However, there are beasties lurking and your hunger to be taken care of, so you have to begin to collect resources. So, the first course of action is to break down a tree only using your fists. I’m not even joking, you have to beat trees into submission with your bare hands. This is how an action as such would go down in real life:

/walks up and confidently punches tree expecting it to break

FUUUUUUUUUUU

So after you have broken every bone in your hands and wailed on the tree, you can now make a wooden axe, pickaxe and sword. You can even start building a house and killing animals for food. But, wooden tools are pretty shit, and after breaking about 50 of them you head off to find a mine to collect some stone. Once you have stone, you can make stone tools. Now you need a way to light up your house, so back off to the mine to collect some coal. By now you have encountered many beasts and probably died quite a few times, and think it is worth investing in some armour. So you return to the mine to collect some iron. Then you need more stone to make a smelter to smelt the iron ore into ingots. Then you need more wood for a crafting table to make your armour. Then you need more iron to make iron tools. Then you happen to come across some obsidian (a very valuable stone that can be turned into a portal to another world), which shits on your iron pickaxe because it can only be mined with a diamond pickaxe. So you go back into a mine and search 826598726 hours for diamond, all this while taking  regular breaks to find some food before you die…….. AND THERE IS NO END TO THIS CYCLE. You get so absorbed that this would be your reaction if someone interrupted your game play to tell you that you had won $50 million:

Reaction GIF: don't care, Morgan Freeman, The Shawshank Redemption

But this would be your reaction if you found one damned block of that damned pixelated diamond:

Elf

Enough is never enough. When you first begin, collecting resources is about survival. By the time you have collected your first piece of iron, it is about collecting anything and EVERYTHING. Your addiction compels you to keep collecting shit you don’t even need, ‘just in case’.

Me: 1542 wood, that should be plenty!

Obsessive compulsive Minecraft-crazed brain:

The second part of my addiction was developed through Creative mode. In this mode, you don’t have to collect anything, your inventory is already packed with unlimited supplies of everything. Which means you can let your imagination run rampant and you can build whatever the hell you want. My brother, boyfriend and I lost 3 days to this mode. We made towns, ships, volcanoes, rockets, statues, arenas, tree houses and more. I was even compelled to re-create shit like this:

 Next on my list is to recreate Middle Earth, from the Shire to Mordor. This is how entrenched I am in my addiction. Even though I realise my next project will take me weeks, I AM STILL GOING TO DO IT. By the time I leave the house again, I would have forgotten that the world isn’t actually made of cubes, will most likely become scared and confused, and run back inside to the familiarity of Minecraft.

File:-dafuq-.gif

I COMPLETELY RECOGNISE THAT I WILL HAVE TO GIVE UP THE REAL WORLD FOR A VIRTUAL WORLD MADE OF BLOCKS, BUT I AM STILL OK WITH THIS.

I have an addiction ladies and gentleman. An addiction to collecting 2673 pieces of wool. To slaying cubed zombies and dragons. To building useless shit in block form. I think it is time to check myself into Minecraft rehab…….

…..now, what would the rehab centre be made out of? Wood, definitely wood. But I need to go collect some more, I don’t want to eat into my supply of 5690 wood pieces. A fireplace would be perfect as well, better swing by the mine and get some stone, may as well grab some coal while I’m there too, maybe even some iron……..

😉

 

15 games that you should play right this instant! July 6, 2012

 After growing up with a computer, a PS1, a PS2, a PS3, an Xbox, an Xbox 360, a Wii, a Nintendo DS, a Nintendo 3DS and a brother, I think its safe to say that I like video games quite a lot 😛 While being a girl and liking video games used to mean you were placed up in the mystical category (along with Unicorns and Griffins) these days it is rare you find someone who doesn’t like partaking in the wonderful world of gaming at some point, so much so that when I hear someone say that they HATE video games this is the reaction they get from me:

 After trying to trawl through my memory of all the games I have had obsessions with (not an easy task let me assure you :P), I finally managed to narrow it down to a reasonable sized list that isn’t going to bore the pants off of you all 🙂

15) Sims 2 (Computer)

  While I’m pretty sure everyone (at least most girls) have played this game on some console at some point, the PC version of Sims 2 was a HUGE obsession of mine from about the age of 14. Playing God of the Sim world was awesome, the choices of how to make your sim live their life was endless. While making good things happen to them was great, making bad things happen to them was even better >:D My favourite method of killing them off when I got sick of them? Making them go for a seemingly delightful dip in the pool, then deleting the ladder >:D

14) Spyro (PS1)

Though I actually never had this game myself (because my parents obviously wanted to deprive me of a childhood :P), luckily my friend that lived 2 houses away from me owned it. Oh, I spent so many weekends over there, she probably could have started charging me for the amount I played her Playstation 😛 This game is a stand out for a single reason: You get to play as a freaking dragon 😀 ‘Nuff said.

13) Zoo Tycoon 2 (Computer)

You get to make your own zoo, however you want it, with what ever animals you want! Not only can you make your own zoo, but you can also be the zoo keeper rather than just playing the whole thing from an outside bird’s-eye view! Walk around your zoo and view the animals as a customer, or go into the enclosures to see your animals up close, feed them, pet them, bathe them, or play with them! Not sold on it yet ladies? I’ve saved the best till last…… you can make your animals have babies, and I assure you, THEY ARE ADORABLE 😀

12) The Lion King (PS1)

The title itself explains why it’s one of my favourites 😉 As much as I love this game though, I certainly got sick of hearing Simba’s dying screams as I continuously (and accidentally) made him roll off of the top of Pride Rock in the first level . . . . . . over and over again 😐 I would use the excuse that it was because I was young and every youngster sucks at video game coordination, but I still own this game and Simba is still quite regularly plunging to his death 😛

11) Halo 2 (Xbox)

This is literally the only first person shooter that I am good at, therefore the only one I like 😛 Playing as Master Chief and Arbiter was epic, fighting the Flood scared me silly, and the Scorpion tanks were the shit. While the main mission was awesome, the multiplayer maps were my favourite, where my brother and I would abandon the Rocket Launchers and Sniper Rifles, and would prefer getting in a Warthog each and smashing the shit out of each others cars 😀

10) Mass Effect (PS3)

An epic RPG! (RPG = Role Playing Game, for those who are not familiar with the abbreviation 🙂 Pretty much means while there is obviously a story line, it is not completely set in stone and you can really personalise your own character, form friendships/relationships with other character and make the game a different experience each time by making different decisions. So in other words….. RPG = AWESOME!) You are Commander Shepard (you can be male or female . . . . . . a really butch female :P), the first human Spectre appointed by the Council. Your mission is to not only save Earth, but save the whole flipping galaxy from a group of beings called Reapers, a huge ass alien race who wipes the galaxy clean of life every 50, 000 years so that the planets can be cleansed and new species can form. Epic? You bet your sweet ass its epic! 😀

9) Dynasty Warriors 3 (PS2)

 Set in Ancient China, in this game you take control of a war officer and have to fight your way through the enemies armies to take control over the area. Pretty much a hack and slash game 😀 Yet another game I played a lot with my brother (usually on the same team, as opposing him was suicide :P), and it was a good game to take your anger out on. Had a bad day at school? Why not hack at a few thousand soldiers? guarantee it’ll make you feel better 😛 Lu Bu was my favourite character (the fact he was the strongest has NOTHING to do with it…… I swear /shifty eyes :D)

8) Skyrim (PS3)

 You like complete freedom to do literally what ever you want? Want to be able to explore hundreds of caves/mountains/towns over an ENORMOUS map? Want to fight dragons? If your answer is no, get off my blog 😛 No please don’t go, I joke I joke! D’: But seriously, this game is amazing. You are Dovahkiin, the Dragon Born, and have the ability to absorb a Dragon’s life force and use the Thu’um, which are words of power used by Dragons. To defeat Alduin, you must go on a journey to the Throat of the World (and beyond) to where the Grey F*CKING beards reside (sorry about the outburst, it took me about 10 attempts to spell ‘beard’ right :P), and learn the ways of the Voice. The amount of other missions is insane, there is literally no finishing this game, as there is so much to do! Also, the Thu’um Fus Roh Da is awesome. I mean, using it to fight enemies is ok, but taking someone you hate to a huge mountain, and Fus Roh Da-ing their ass off of the top is so much more delightfully evil >:D

7) Age of Mythology (Computer)

 If you are fascinated with Greek, Norse and/or Egyptian myth and lore like I am, this is the game for you. Rather than being based on actual events, this strategy game is played within the context of the legends that existed in these wonderful ages. What makes this game even better is the expansion:

Not only does it add a new civilisation to play: The Atlanteans, but after you have built up your town, trained your units, built your Wonder, and chosen to worship a god, you can summon a mighty Titan to do your bidding. If you are lucky, the other civilisations on the map have summoned their Titan too, and you can sit back and watch the epic battle unfold of two almighty Gods beating each other silly 😀

6) Batman: Arkham Asylum (PS3)

Batman has fallen into Joker’s trap (yet again), and is now stuck in Arkham Asylum, a looney bin full of the worst criminals Batman has locked up. With Joker in control of the whole asylum, criminals such as Scarecrow, Killer Croc, Poison Ivy, Bane and Zsasz have been set loose, and are thirsting for blood. But being Batman, he is never unprepared. Nothing is cooler than being able to control the awesomeness that is Batman and be able to take on a groups of 30 thugs and come out unscathed! 😀 Spooky at times (especially when you are in Killer Croc’s lair) but really fun!

5) Spiderman 2 (PS2)

 Ok, I know I just said nothing is cooler than playing as Batman, but Spiderman is just that little bit more awesome, game-wise anyway 🙂 I spent way more hours than I would like to admit playing this game. Rather than doing the main mission, my favourite thing to do was to simply swing around the city! You have the whole of New York at your feet, and its pretty darn fun to explore it all! Climbing to the top of the Empire State Building and bungie jumping off of it was also pretty entertaining 😀

4) Mario (Wii, Nintendo 3DS)

I currently own Super Mario Galaxy, Super Mario Galaxy 2, Mario 3D Land, Mariokart and Mario Tennis. Apart from having to save his useless woman time and time over, Mario never gets old for me 😀

3) Kingdom Hearts (PS2)

The Heartless are taking over the Disney worlds, and you, Sora with the power of the Keyblade, must save them! I love Disney an unhealthy amount, so being able to go into the world of Tarzan, Aladdin and The Little Mermaid takes me back to my childhood. The bosses can be very challenging at times, and I am yet to finish the game because the last world is a complete and utter BITCH, but my love for this game outweighs any annoyances some of the enemies can present 🙂

2) Anything Lego (PS3)

Lego is easy to play, funny and highly entertaining! It is one of those games that rarely presents too much of a challenge, so it is a very relaxing game to play with lots of great humor thrown in throughout all the games. I own Lego Star Wars Saga, Lego Harry Potter years 1-7 and Lego Pirates of the Caribbean, all of which are fantastic! And for those of you who have that annoying habit of continuously dying in a game (because we/I suck :P), the best thing about Lego is that YOU CAN’T DIE! 😀

1) DRAGON AGE (PS3)

This my dear friends, is what I believe to be the best RPG . . . . EVER. Made by the same developers as Mass Effect, it actually never fails to disappoint me. Whether you choose to be a human, elf, dwarf, warrior, rogue or mage, you are hand chosen by Duncan to enter the ranks of the Grey Wardens to face the oncoming Blight of Darkspawn, with the dreaded Arch Demon at the head of the horde. You and your fellow Grey Warden Alistair (who I can guarantee all of you ladies will fall in love with) set off to create an army of elves, dwarves, mages and men to help fight in the oncoming war. Along the road, you find a huge array of different companions to join your own personal party, and while the story line is absolutely fantastic, it is these party members that add one of the best elements to the game. It is with these people who you can create friendships, relationships, learn their back story, and complete their own personal quests to gain their favour. They come and talk to your own character on their own accord, they give their own input on different quests, and they even interact with each other (which often results in hilarious conversations to listen in on!) It is one of those games that you can play over and over again and have a different experience each time, and I promise you, no ending you encounter will disappoint you. I wasted a good part of my day yesterday playing this game for 5 hours straight . . . . . . I REGRET NOTHING! 😀

So there it is, part of my nerdom laid bare, hopefully it was more enlightening rather than boring 😛 So what is your favourite game of all time? Any one who has also played and loved these games? 🙂 Any particular recommendations? 😀 Now if you’ll excuse me, after writing about it, I have an overwhelming urge to play Dragon Age 😀 DIE DARKSPAWN! >:D

Until next week lovelies 🙂