Remain Insane

Ramblings of an animal loving, people hating, game enthusing, book nerd :D

Hey Mr. Grumpy Gills! June 5, 2013

It can begin with something as little as having to go to work or school. Maybe some asshole customer was rude to you, or you stubbed your toe. Sometimes it begins with simply just having to get out of bed. It doesn’t matter what mood you’re in either – be it happy, sad, chilled out –  all it takes is for a single event to occur or word to be said and suddenly……..

A bad mood, the grumbles, or a severe case of the crankies strikes! In one swift stroke, you have been transformed from a calm and normal human that is able to handle irritating situations into someone who has the capability to break into a rage over everything and anything!

No….. paper…… towels?!

These seedy little bastards like to crop up and turn you into a raging hulk at any given opportunity, lurking behind every human interaction or dropped pencil. And what’s worse, once you have caught a case of the crankies, it is near impossible to get out of it! I hear you say ‘But Gemma, a smile and a positive attitude will fix that grumpy mood!’. This is easier said than done, and can sometimes put you even more on edge. If you look anything like me when I try to smile while furious, I recommend to just keep the ‘I’m angry’ face. You might look like a grump, but you will be less likely to make small children cry.

Once a bad mood has wormed its way into our day, you either try and get rid of that bitch quick, or be doomed to experience what shall be dubbed as ‘The Three Stages of Anger’. Each is a different phase of severity, but if you do not break a bad mood fast these naturally occurring stages will help shit hit the fan (figuratively or literally, depending on level of sanity retained while raging) in no time!

Stage 1: Annoyance and Denial

Stage 1 usually begins with something small, maybe someone has just told you the ending to a movie you were really looking forward to see, or maybe you happened to pick the one trolley that screeches like a banshee so people stare at you while you do your shopping.

Usually this stage will happen early on in your day, and is often the beginning of a cascade of irritating situations. You are peeved off and annoyed, but still have enough sense to realise how strange it would look to have a temper tantrum over something so small, so you exercise your self control and attempt to act as if nothing has happened. You try to convince yourself that it didn’t bother you and that it would be silly to get angry over something little…… but you can’t help but feeling a little bit pissy.

Stage 2: Frustration and Contemplation

The beginning of Stage 2 is often triggered by a series of unfortunate events after the initial cause of Stage 1, where each successive event has felt just that little bit more dramatic and anger worthy. You have now surpassed the level of self control you still held in Stage 1, and are now prone to random outbursts of rage at any given moment.

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By this point you have given up on denial and have accepted the fact that you are in a bad mood and begin to hate everything. Rather than trying to pretend these things aren’t bothering you, you begin to contemplate and fantasize about exactly how much you could get away with, like: ‘I wonder how that person would react if I were to sock them in the face?’ or ‘How many items could I throw off of this shelf before security tackles me?’

 Stage 3: Infuriation and Destruction

The onslaught of this final stage usually begins the same way Stage 1 does, with something so completely and insignificantly small it usually would not even warrant a mild swear. But by this point, you no longer recognise this nor care. With all inhibitions and self control thrown to the wind, your simmering bad mood is just waiting for an excuse to boil over. And when Stage 3 hits, a simple every-day interaction with someone can result in, what looks like from an outsiders perspective, a completely unjustified bat-shit crazy reaction.

‘Hi, how are you?’

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After this stage it is usually best to go home and lie low for a while, as you have probably been labelled as a public menace with anger management issues 😛

While some people try smiling their way through a bad mood or forcing themselves out of it, there is only one holdfast solution to get rid of a grumpy mood once and for all:

Watch Finding Nemo 😉

Until next time lovelies 🙂

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Exams: The good, the bad and the ugly June 29, 2012

Filed under: The Ramblings — Gemma @ 12:11 am
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Exams: the bane of every students existence.

The Good:

Upon realising as a result of my title I had to try to think of something good to write about exams, this was the reaction that followed:

Now that I think about it, this is also probably some of the lecturers/teachers reaction when they watch our faces fall as we open the exam and see all the difficult questions they have put in there:

SUCK ON THAT BITCHES! >:D

Sadistic assholes.

The good about exams: That they are finally over. And the fact that for a split second I honestly did try to think of something nice to say about exams made me laugh so hard I nearly peed my pants.

The Bad:

1) Due to exams, I disappeared off of the face of the blogosphere without so much as a how-do-you-do. For this I am truly sorry, and in the hope that my lovely readers will forgive me for slacking off, I have uploaded the cutest picture of my cat that I own:

Now that all is forgiven (as Jasper sleeping with his tongue out is insanely adorable :D), I am back to blogging and shall probably be posting far too many ramblings, reading loads too many books and playing way too many games starting as of now. The next three weeks are mid-semester break and I plan to thoroughly enjoy them 😀

2) The stress of trying to cram a semesters worth of information into your head in a few short weeks. Lets face it, we all do it. We slack off all semester thinking ‘Its ok, I’ll catch up on it next week!’. Before you know it, its exam revision week, you have done absolutely nothing, and you can’t even remember the name of the class you are taking. You stay up till 1 o’clock every night trying to force yourself to learn the in’s and out’s of a protozoan’s, a nematodes and the synapsids body structure, while your brain will swallow no such nonsense and conveniently only wants to sing ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ to you over and over again to drive you insane. Inevitably, the exam itself arrives. While these past weeks you have been shitting bricks (hopefully only figuratively and not literally) and been feeling like the end is near, in your current comatose state, you are actually strangely calm and no longer give a flying batshit if you actually pass or not. Throughout the exam, your asshole mind is still singing ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’. After you have finished, you vow:

‘Next semester will be different!’

 DON’T EVER BELIEVE YOURSELF! Usually, next semester is exactly the same, with twice the amount of procrastination to avoid getting stressed. I have already said this to myself after trying to learn 3 different topics within a 2 week period, but I don’t believe myself for a second, I am just too gosh darn lazy 🙂

3) Getting to the actual exam. I live two hours away from uni. I don’t drive. I have to catch public transport, meaning if I want to get to an 8:45am exam on time, I have to leave home at 6:30am. If this wasn’t bad enough, Adelaide Metro increased its efforts to make me a raging she-hulk by being even more useless than usual. At the best of times, a bus will usually rock up late or not show up at all. As a once off, this is fine and expected, however, on Tuesday when I was trying to get to my exam on time . . . . 6 F*CKING SCHEDUALED BUSES DIDN’T SHOW UP! Not late, they apparently just didn’t exist. I waited for an hour trying to contain my rage and then panic as every single bus but mine showed up, and when a bus did EVENTUALLY rock up, I had to stop myself sounding like a maniac and shrieking ‘WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?!’ at the bus driver. Thankfully I made the exam JUST on time! Stupid public transport -_____-

The Ugly:

Procrastination. While it comes in many forms, here are the ways that I use to waste perfectly good exam revision time:

1) Eating my feelings

My feelings this time around tasted like chocolate. Lots and lots of chocolate 😀

2) Chasing the cat with the duster

3) Making a useless to-do list

4) Taking out my anger on and abusing Cleverbot (a talking computer)

5) Looking through people’s pictures on Facebook, realising I am very behind on how girls take photos of themselves these days, and deciding to try it out myself:

Am I doing it right? 😛

Because this is clearly better than smiling 😛

6) Listening to this song on repeat which literally gives me no choice but to stop studying and instead disco dance around the house:

I am insanely glad that exams are finally over for this semester, and will spend the next three weeks reveling in my temporary freedom. I have also been looking massively forward to these holidays so I can finally get my butt back into Adelaide Zoo, complete my zoo guide training and finally become a fully fledged volunteer! I can’t wait! 😀

 

Youtube: where liking puppies means ‘You should go die!’ June 16, 2012

Random Raging Rant No. 4: Abusive social media

Every social media site has a certain feel to it these days, and unfortunately most of them make me want to walk down the street swinging a baseball bat (though most people would be quite safe from getting their allocated smack to the face, I have the worst swing and coordination in the history of . . . . well, ever :P). Facebook gives young teen girls the chance to cavort in every position possible in the hope of getting a couple of cheap likes on their photos and absolutely fricken rape my god damn newsfeed with sexual statuses, giving it a ‘whorey’ feel. Instagram is just like Facebook minus the stupid statuses plus loads more charming photos. Twitter is just loads more stupid updates minus the dumb photos. For every good Facebook/Instagram/Twitter site, there is 10, 000 shitty ones. While I will never understand the motivation behind these actions on these media sites (and seriously consider becoming a social media hermit and eliminating it from my life, with the exception of WordPress of course :D), there is one site that absolutely takes the cake on my confusion level. Youtube /que evil and menacing music

Go onto Youtube. Search for absolutely any type of video. Really, take your pick, animals, games, sports, anything (mine is usually cute and fluffy things :D)! Now, it is not the actual video that I would like you to pay attention to, but rather what is underneath of it. This is where you will find the complete unravelling of rationality. Usually, a conversation will follow as such:

Person 1: Awwww, look at the cute little kitten!

Person 2 replying to Person 1: I will find you and stab you in the f*cking throat.

WHAT THE SHIT? So wait, let me get this straight, you have an overwhelming urge to stab someone . . . . .  because of their love of kittens? BECAUSE THAT MAKES COMPLETE SENSE YOU TOTAL PSYCHOTIC BASTARD!

Sports video: abuse. Funny video: abuse. Gaming review video: abuse. Baby sneezing: abuse. Video of tiny little fluffy kitten playing: abuse. A video about abuse: abuse. A video of a black screen: abuse. No matter the video, no matter the nice comments, in reply, there is always a torrent of (mostly) undeserved abuse flying between viewers FOR ABSOLUTELY NO REASON! Even my boyfriend Steven got told to ‘Shut the f*ck up and go die’ for a completely innocent comment about football, in which we sat there staring at the screen completely and utterly confused at what had been said to deserve said abuse! I know some of these people try to pick fights for fun, but it is those that dish out death threats and are completely serious about it that confuse the crap out of me! Everyone has an opinion, and its completely ok to express that opinion, but don’t you think maybe, just maybe, threatening to shoot someone in the face is taking it just that liiiiiittleee bit too far? 😛 I think rather than all this ‘I’m going to stab you’ business, we need to find these sorry individuals, superglue them to a chair and play this song on repeat:

But then again, they might hate this music video and tell me to go die in a hole 😉 I mean, as I have quite plainly advertised, I hate people too, but I could never throw such abuse at someone just for having their own opinion. What ever happened to a good ol’ friendly debates without wanting to rip each others throats out? I think I will just stick to being a silent viewer on Youtube rather than ever comment or, god forbid, ever MAKE a video. I am far too soft to be able to deal with abusive Youtubers . . . .  and I am quite fond of posting cute pictures of fluffy things without getting death threats 😛 LOOK ITS AN ADORABLE PUPPY!

Note: I understand the irony throughout this whole post of me raging about people raging 😛

On a more positive note, I was surprised and very honored this week to be presented with five different awards! Bassa’s blog, through celebrating 1 year of blogging, presented 52 bloggers with her own ‘You Make Me Shine!’ Award, which I was very honored to receive from such a wonderful (and cute and fluffy) blogger 🙂

Secondly, I received ‘The Versatile Blogger’ Award, ‘The Kreativ Blogger’ Award, ‘The Inspiring Blog’ Award and ‘The Sisterhood of the World Bloggers’ Award from the lovely blogger Zen! Thankyou so much my dear! 🙂 The usual rules with accepting these awards apply: Thank the person who nominated you and link them in your blog, some random facts about yourself, nominate other bloggers for the awards and let them know! 🙂 I will produce some more random word vomit about myself, and then separately allocate awards 🙂

1) I was actually genuinely upset when I didn’t get my Hogwarts letter on my 11th birthday when I came to the realisation that if Hogwarts did exist, I was a muggle. Which is why I think I’ll begin investing time into Pottermore, who says I can’t be a witch now eh? 😀

2) The war between my cat and I seems to have taken a turn for the worse. Rather than trying to give me a heart attack through scaring me, he is testing a new tactic of trying to gas me to death by producing extra disgusting poops. That he does on the floor. RIGHT NEXT TO THE LITTER TRAY.

3) I eat far too much chocolate, then again, I think every woman does 😛

4) I once had a friendly debate with a religious person who came knocking on my door, which ended in her declaring I was possessed, made a warding off sign at me and ran off. Apparently I’m the devil 😀

The Versatile Blogger Award Nominations

1) Reviews and Rants

2) Random Deviations

3) That’s Just Ridiculous by Curly Carly

All wonderfully funny and entertaining blogs! 🙂

The Kreativ Blogger Award Nominations

1) Creative Minds

Cooking, drawing and creating, Sarah covers it all with her new blog!

The Inspiring Blog Award

1) Mikumi Musings

2) Chronicles of Nature 

I respect both of these women greatly for the work with and their views on the wonderful world of animals 🙂

The Sisterhood of the World Blogging Award

1) Sezpets

2) lots’ bout nothing

3) Defining Wonderland

4) Brown Eyes and Green Bees

A sisterhood award that I am very happy to pass on to some of the lovely ladies of the blogging world 🙂

Now after all this typing and ranting and these wonderful awards and the stupid amount of studying I did today (writing 15 pages is a bitch!) I think I m going to go and gorge myself on junk food, and then to work it off chase my cat around the house 😀 Until next week lovelies! ^_^

 

Dumb and dumber June 3, 2012

Random Raging Rant No. 3: People.

I don’t know if I have just been particularly anti-social this week, or if people have been particularly stupid, so I’m going to go with the latter as it is the most reasonable explanation. As I seem to have been struck down with a severe case of the crankies and feel the need to use a large amount of profanities, here are a few things that I hate about a few stupid assholes.

1) People who ask stupid DUMBASS questions.

I used to work in a wildlife park, where I put on shows for people while holding baby crocodiles and snakes. So naturally, I got asked a lot of questions about the animals that I was showing. Now, before you think: ‘There is no such thing as a stupid question Gemma, stop being so over dramatic!’ let me enlighten you on the ABSOLUTE FRICKEN BEAUTIES I got asked EVERY FLIPPING DAY. I’d go to the crocodile tank, armed with a piece of tape. Getting the baby croc’s out of their tank involved speed, strength, a lot a wriggling and potential finger threatening moments. I would have to catch the babies and tape their mouths, all while the tykes were trying to bite my fingers off with their little razor sharp teeth. Often people would watch me do this. And what would people (I’m talking adults here) ask me after this little display?

‘Why is there tape on the crocodile’s mouth?’

WHAT THE FLIPPING FUDGE NUTS?! DID YOU NOT JUST STAND THERE FOR 5 MINUTES WATCHING ME STRUGGLE TO SHUT ITS GOD DAMN MOUTH WHILE IT WAS TRYING TO MAUL ME YOU IMBECILE? YOU KNOW WHAT, JUST FOR YOU I’LL TAKE THE TAPE OFF! HERE, EVEN GIVE IT A KISS, BECAUSE ITS ACTUALLY SUPER F*CKING CUDDLY, AND CLEARLY NOT GOING TO CHEW YOUR F*CKING FACE OFF!

During the day, crocs also like to sunbake and rest, and can sometimes sit in the same spot the whole day. We had quite a large croc in an enclosure that liked to do this. The stupid question people asked me?

‘Is it real?’

NO, IT’S NOT REAL AT ALL! WE HAVE JUST BUILT A HUGE MOTHER F*CKING ENCLOSURE WITH RUNNING WATER AND HIGH FENCES AND PUT FOOD IN THERE FOR ABSOLUTELY NO REASON! WOULD YOU LIKE A CLOSER LOOK? MAYBE GO PLACE YOUR HEAD IN ITS MOUTH?

2) People in shopping centres.

You know the ones. The ones that stand completely stationary the whole time you are walking up to them, and then just as you are walking behind them they step back WITHOUT EVEN LOOKING and run right into you then give you a dirty look like it was YOU who did something wrong. Or the gossipy woman with a trolley that runs into an equally gossipy friend who also happens to have a trolley, and they both seem to mutually agree it is A FLIPPING FANTASTIC IDEA TO TOTALLY BLOCK OFF THE WHOLE AISLE WITH THEIR TROLLEYS WHILE THEY CHAT FOR AN HOUR, AND AGAIN, GIVE YOU DIRTY LOOKS AND SNIDE COMMENTS WHEN YOU POLITELY ASK THEM TO MOVE. OH I’M SORRY, BECAUSE CLEARLY IT IS ME WHO IS THE INCONSIDERATE ASS!

3) People who don’t use their car indicators.

Apparently using your indicator is THE HARDEST thing to ever do while driving a car according to the lack of people who use it. Countless times have I almost had a run in with a car as a pedestrian because some dumbass thought using his indicator was over-rated and that it would be fun to make me play a guessing game. USE YOUR INDICATOR DUMBASS.

4) Attention whores on Facebook

 Those absolutely stick thin girls who post pictures like this:

Oh ma gawd, I’m so fat!

Firstly, if you really thought you were fat, you would not put up revealing photos of yourself. Secondly, you know you are skinny, so shut your face. And thirdly, BITCH, IF YOU ARE FAT, THEN I AM FRICKEN SHAMU!

5) People who tink itz kewl to tlk lyk dis.

Please learn how to talk before I make you eat a dictionary. Just typing like this made me feel dirty!

6) The man who thought it would be a great idea to name a bird species ‘Larus maximus ex alba et nigro feu caeruleo nigricante varius’.

I am trying to memorize some Latin names for my Animal Diversity exam. Most are only two words tops, this one however is an absolutely monstrosity. Needless to say, this man was obviously a sadistic asshole. IF THIS SPECIES COMES UP IN THE EXAM (BECAUSE THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL I AM DEDICATING PRECIOUS MEMORY SPACE  TO REMEMBER THIS STUPID NAME) I AM GOING TO FIND SAID MAN AND SHOVE A PINEAPPLE UP HIS ANAL SPHINCTER.

In the future, I am sure there will be many more posts dedicated to the joy that is the human race and how much of the social butterfly I clearly am 😛

Until next week my lovely readers, unless I decide to run off into the forest and become a hermit 😀